I would like nothing more for Sammy to be able to join the military when he turns 18. I do not want my child to go into battle, but the structure would be so good for him, in addition to my knowing that he has a place to live and is eating every day.

Foster and adopted children are not excluded from joining the military, but there are some exclusions that may prohibit our “kids” from joining.

The military has a great website that specifically lists the exclusions, or disqualifications as they are called on ... more

My husband and I went through a year of infertility treatments when we received the news that we’d have to spend at least another $6000, I’d have to undergo surgery, we’d have to continue the injections and every other day trips to the doctor and there would be no guarantees. That was all we needed to hear to decide we were done. Adoption was our family building option. We were not opposed to adoption to begin with, but like most families we wanted to try for a biological child.

We evaluated all methods of adoption and we chose foster care adoption. Here... more

Arkansas will be voting on a referendum to ban unmarried couples from becoming foster or adoptive parents. This will be one of the issues they vote on along with the presidential election in November.

In order for the issue to make it to the ballet proponents had to gather at least 61,974 signatures. They submitted more than 85,000. In 2006 the Arkansas Supreme Court overturned a decision that specifically banned gay or lesbian couples from becoming foster parents. It seems the bickering is continuing and now it will be up to the voters to decide.

I... more

In a prior blog I talked about separating my private life and business life. For the most part I can do it, but there are still stories that get to me. The following is one of them.

Warning: Graphic and repulsive information and descriptions.

Last week Patrick "Booger Red" Kelly received a life sentence for his actions in child sexual abuse. What he did is heinous and his sentence is justified if not actually light.

He “taught” five children, now ages... more

I came across an article recently about a man who found his birth parents via MySpace. It’s kind of interesting that MySpace has become more than just a social networking website. It’s such a large and widely used website that it makes sense that you could potentially locate birthparents or adoptees. This is not the first MySpace reunion that I have heard about, just the first article about one. In the article we... more

If school hasn’t started for you yet, it will be soon. You may be looking forward to having your child in school all day, or you may be dreading the start of the school year because of the fights at and with the school.

In most cases, the younger the child, the more enabling the teacher can be. Many teachers don’t want a child to “fail” while they’re young. There is fear it will damage a child’s self esteem. In my experience and opinion, it is much more damaging to a child to fail in high school than in first grade.

I have talked to many parents... more

My private life and my “business” life intersect on a regular basis. I’m a foster/adoptive parent, and I can’t turn that off when I walk out my door. It’s the same for every parent.

We were at a wedding this past weekend. Our former pastors did the ceremony and it was so great to see them again. They know what I do for a living and have been incredibly supportive of our family. A few years ago, one of their family members adopted two little boys from Russia. We have talked about the boys and how they are doing a number of times. Recently the topic of attachment... more

Many newly licensed foster or adoptive parents are afraid to refuse a placement. They fear they will not be offered other placements if they refuse one, or more.

The most important thing to remember in accepting or refusing a placement is the child. Is placement in your home in the best interest of the child? If you cannot give a heartfelt “yes” to that question, then the answer should be no.

As we all know, every move is hard on a child and taking a child in with under the premise that if things don’t work you’ll just ask to have the child moved, you’re... more

This post is being “dripped” in because my husband and I are away for the weekend. Just the two of us. No kids. A friend of ours is getting married and the wedding is in the Door County Peninsula.

Wisconsin looks like your left hand. The thumb is Door County. We haven’t been there in nearly 10 years, even though it’s only a few hours away. We could have brought Hannah along, and she would have had a great time, but we chose to go alone and spend some time together as adults. I call this parent respite.

Most of the time when foster or adoptive parents... more

Jealousy can be a major issue in foster care and adoption and it can come in various forms and at many stages during the process. Don’t think you are a jealous person? That may change once you get started.

Let’s explore some the different “types” of jealousy.

Jealous of parents with placement – When you are the parents waiting for a placement watching other parents that you have gone through pre-adoption classes with or other friends that you have, taking placement of their child while your home sits empty, jealousy can come in. This... more